Out of the mouths …

This story is prompted by the photo below, kindly provided by J Hardy Carroll for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/.  Many thanks to Rochelle for facilitating the site.

The story has 98 words.

Please accept my apologies (especially if you’re American) for the strange dialect I’ve imposed on the characters.  I have no idea where I think they come from.  In my defence, I’m probably wreaking belated revenge for the episode of Frasier in which Daphne’s Mancunian boyfriend sounded like a cockney (probably not the poor actor’s fault, I’m sure he tried hard to get the “British” accent right).

JHC5

Out of the mouths …

Peeping over the wall, the older boy whispers, ‘Look, there they are.’

‘They ain’t got wings’, his brother answers.

‘They’s battlefield angels.  Wings’d git in the way.’

‘And they’s just kids.’

‘So’s not to scare the wounded soldiers.’

‘So what do they do, the angels?’

‘Keep our soldiers safe.  If they cain’t, they come here, check up on ‘em.’

‘What about the other soldiers?

‘They’s got they own God.’

‘They have angels too?’

‘What kind of – ‘

A woman enters the churchyard and the boys flee.

‘Girls,’ the Chief Bridesmaid shouts, ‘Quit playin’ and git back in church.’

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6 Responses to Out of the mouths …

  1. Mel A Rowe says:

    Great carriage of voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear John,

    The dialect gives the story color and atmosphere. No need to justify or apologize for it. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sightsnbytes says:

    hauntingly beautiful. I loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. JS Brand says:

    Wow! That’s really kind, thank you

    Like

  5. I liked the story the boys imagined and then the twist at the end. Maybe people in the deep south talk like that, not sure. But you don’t need an accent to get the message across.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. JS Brand says:

    Thank you – if battlefield angels did exist, it would be nice to think they’d soon be free to retrain and move on to permanent peacetime roles, but it seems more likely they’d just have to adapt to modern forms of warfare and change their job title.
    Re the accent/dialect issue (I never really understand the distinction) I hoped the boys would sound like someone, somewhere, and that I wouldn’t offend anyone by seeming to take a lazy approach to writing for American voices. I love the fact we have lots of regional accents in the UK, with hundreds of often subtle variations within those, and it makes me mad when film and drama makers are happy to have their characters speaking in generic versions of accents from Scotland, the North, Wales, the Midlands and so on. I’m sure the range of accents in the USA must be much bigger, but that the same laziness creeps in. Much respect to actors who make a real effort to get an accent as near to right as possible.
    Sorry about the rant!

    Like

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