Are you a little horse? No, I always talk like this

This story was prompted by the photo below, kindly provided by Al Forbes at Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/ . I think there was also some subliminal influence from watching re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond.

I apologise in advance for the corny humour, but I couldn’t help myself – I went to my first pantomime of the season at the weekend, and it was a veritable pun fest. Besides, if you read the title and still clicked, you knew what you were letting yourself in for.  I won’t apologise for including old jokes (not from the pantomime) – they’re so ancient that this can’t possibly be plagiarism (which is bad); I prefer to think I’m recycling them (which is good).

Incidentally, I’m desperate for someone to use a photo of two sheep as a prompt, so I can use the title “Old Ewes Telling Jokes”.

This link will take you to other stories and let you add your own: http://www.inlinkz.com/new/view.php?id=588588 .

133 12 December 6th 2015

Are you a little horse? No, I always talk like this (200 words)

‘What’s so funny, Frank?’

‘Can’t a guy laugh in his own paddock?’

‘Not if he brays like an ass.  What’s tickling you?’

‘If you must know, Marie, I just got this joke I heard in the bar last night.’

‘From the barman?’

‘No, from Stan.  A cop turns up at a mansion and he’s got this old gorilla with him.’

‘Sounds stupid.’

‘Let me finish.  He says to the butler, “I’ve got news about the burglary”.  So the butler says, “You caught the burglar?”.  Then the cop says, “No, but I brought the silver back”.’

‘I don’t get it.’

‘Silverback … it’s a play on words.’

‘Oh … like the barman’s joke?’

‘What joke?’

‘When you walk in the bar, he always looks at you and asks, “Why the long face?”.’

‘Why would that make me laugh?’

‘It’s a horse joke.’

‘It’s not funny.’

‘Not any more.  He says it every damn time.’

‘Only when I’m with you Marie.  You’d give a long face to a Care Bear.’

‘No, Frank, I know that one … the bear takes a long time to give his order and the barman says, “Why the big paws?”.’

‘Have you been eating fermented hay again?’

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13 Responses to Are you a little horse? No, I always talk like this

  1. The banter in this piece was delightful, and I read the whole thing with Frank and Marie’s voices in my head 🙂

    Like

  2. Oh dear lord …. Remind me about the sheep photo, I have a few. I won’t use one yet as it would be two with animals so close to each other, but I will soon.

    I remember when I was doing the Postaday that WordPress were doing, and probably still do, one of which was “A man walks into a bar …” to which my very short response was “…says ouch” I just tried doing a search for it, but couldn’t find it. I may have removed it when trying to make some space.

    Liked by 1 person

    • JS Brand says:

      Sorry, lots of reasons to groan in this one. Re the sheep – as soon as I’d posted the story, I remembered I’d photographed some sheep while on a walk in Cumbria (whose people my heart goes out to this week). I found the snaps but none fitted what I was looking for – a Herdwick ewe and her lamb (much too cute), and a pair of what I think were Texel crosses – they are the meanest looking sheep I’ve ever seen and more suited to a story about “Two old tups planning a heist”.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Susan says:

    I loved the conversation and the jokes as well. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. LOL! Cute story! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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