Speed trap

This story was prompted by the photo below, provided at Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2016/01/05/fffaw-week-of-january-5-2016/ .

If the reference to Wayne Rooney doesn’t mean anything, it’s linked to the British media’s obsession with celebrities (including professional footballers) and their body parts  (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/health_and_fitness/4283136.stm).

Click here to see other stories and add your own: http://www.inlinkz.com/new/view.php?id=596223 .

Copyright: pixabay.com

Speed trap

We were going to get away with it.

‘So,’ said Big Cop, ‘You’re studying medicine … and your homework was to make amphetamine?’

‘No comment,’ I said.

‘How much have you made?’ asked Little Cop.

‘None, yet,’ Kevin answered, ‘Ronan says the instructions must be wrong.’

‘Objection,’ I shouted.

‘Overruled,’ said Big Cop, smirking, ‘Can you prove you’re medical students?’

We pointed at the skellington.  It was my idea to buy it.  Genius.

‘You won’t mind doing a little test then?’ Big Cop asked.

They’d never catch me out, but I wasn’t sure about Damon.

‘I’m the one doing medicine,’ I said.

‘I’m doing medium studies,’ Damon added.

Nice one, I thought.  They won’t want their cock-up in the newspapers.

‘Where are the metatarsals?’ asked Big Cop.

I pointed at Mr. Bones’ foot.  Thanks Wayne Rooney.

‘Your turn, Carl,’ said Big Cop, looking at his partner.

‘Show me a scapula,’ said Little Cop.

Got you now, I thought, turning towards the utensils.  We’ve only got a fish slice, but that pillock won’t know the difference.

 175 words

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5 Responses to Speed trap

  1. Who would know the difference between a fish slice and a scapula? Hahaha! Great story!


  2. JS Brand says:

    Thank you Priceless Joy. In 2016 I’ll be trying to cut down on wordplay but, faced with a skeleton, I couldn’t help myself. To show Ronan wasn’t as clever as he thought he was, I was tempted to have him confusing patella with Nutella, but that was too corny (even for me). I hope the scapula/spatula/fish slice thing worked better.


  3. mandibelle16 says:

    Haha he’s got the cop now. Great story. Well written.


  4. Alixa says:

    Very fun read, thanks 🙂


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