Waste not, want not

This story was prompted by the photo below, provided at Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers:  https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2016/01/11/fffaw-week-of-january-12-2016/ .

I found it particularly hard to keep anywhere near the word limit this week, but eventually weighed in at 175 words.  I’m sorry if the editing process has left you wondering what the story has to do with the photo.  Fingers crossed, you’ll understand why it reminded me of a particular type of TV show.

Click here to see other stories and add your own: http://www.inlinkz.com/new/view.php?id=598111 .

Photo prompt kindly provided by Etol Bagam.

Waste not, want not

Maintaining Sodborough Hall cost a fortune.  The Earl’s ancestors had missed numerous commercial opportunities.  Then along came reality television!

At Home With the Aristos had been a nice earner, before the Countess’ disappearance.

The Earl grew desperate, until he caught an episode of Posh Pap.  A chirpy dealer paid peanuts for a pile of heirlooms, before wiping them with a damp cloth and reselling them at a massive profit.

One phone call brought Garry to the Hall.  ‘No cameras’, the Earl had stipulated, ‘Treat this as a recce, but bring cash just in case.’

Soon they stood beside a stack of junk/treasure.

‘500’s my best offer,’ said Garry.

‘Ten grand,’ countered the Earl.

‘650, and you’re ruining me,’ Garry responded.

‘What if I throw this into the mix?’ asked the Earl, producing a shotgun.

‘I don’t have enough for a Purdey,’  Garry tapped his pocket.

‘Pity,’ said the Earl, before squeezing the trigger.

Two hours later, gun cleaned and cash counted, the Earl went to see whether the pigs had finished their unusually generous supper.

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10 Responses to Waste not, want not

  1. Loved the haggering then the gunshot – no more haggering! No wonder the Earl told him to bring cash. (I’m not familiar with the tv shows you write about). Great story!

    Like

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you. I suppose the prime examples of the TYPE of programme I had in mind are American Pickers and Salvage Hunters. If I ever watched this type of TV (I can’t admit to it, can I?) I’d frequently be amazed at the resale prices compared to the purchase prices, especially when the objects only need limited refurbishment. That’s business, of course. “Posh Pap” is obviously invented, with an exaggerated profit margin. The Earl was determined to get the best price possible, but his method was somewhat extreme!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Etol Bagam says:

    That’s why I don’t negotiate much. haha. Nice story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mandibelle16 says:

    Interesting. I didn’t expect the earl to shoot the guy at the end and feed him to the pigs at that. The last part is the worst. Gruesome.

    Like

  4. Martin Flux says:

    Uh, okay. I did not expect that. I almost felt sorry for the Earl – well, until he turned out to be a bit of a baddie, that is. Great story!

    Like

  5. JS Brand says:

    Thank you Martin. I suspect the Earl’s bad streak came through his genes – his ancestors didn’t amass huge tracts of land by being kind and gentle.

    Like

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