Who is the Fairest?

 

This submission was prompted by the photo below  at this week’s Friday Fictioneers, https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/05/10/12-may-2017-2/ .  Many thanks to Rochelle for facilitating the site and providing the photo.

Please click on the link to view other people’s stories and add your own.      http://www.inlinkz.com/new/view.php?id=711119

Who is the Fairest?

Bill paced the pavement while Babs used the rear-view mirror to perfect her look.

He rapped on the window, “Come on, we’re late.”

“Don’t you want me to look good for your friends?” she asked, still looking into the mirror.

“Let’s go.  Use the mirror in your bag.”

“I left it.  You rushed me.”

“Take this then.” Bill bellowed.

He tugged at the door mirror, tearing it loose but unable to pull it free.  In frustration he kicked the wing.  Someone tapped on his shoulder and he turned.

“Look, I’m in a hurry.” Bill said.

“I’m not.” the policeman answered.

100 words

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47 Responses to Who is the Fairest?

  1. neilmacdon says:

    If it had been someone else’s car, the cop would have a case

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Looks like Bill’s up for some trouble.

    Like

  3. Dear JS,

    The last line made me laugh out loud. Pretty drastic measures for checking one’s makeup I’d say. Vanity, vanity, all is vanity. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

  4. k rawson says:

    That’s great–fresh and inventive take on the prompt. Made me giggle!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JS Brand says:

    Thank you Rochelle. I take that as a true compliment. I don’t condone Bill’s loss of temper, by the way, but I suspect more than a few people have felt the frustration of always being late because a spouse or partner puts appearance before punctuality.

    Like

  6. Iain Kelly says:

    Ha, I can appreciate his frustration 🙂 Gave me a chuckle, well done.

    Like

  7. Very funny take on the prompt. Why don’t men understand that women should not be rushed when getting ready?!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Not fair! He’s entitled to be angry. Phew!

    My FF is called Whoopsie!

    Like

    • JS Brand says:

      Maybe the police officer will see if that way too. He may well have been in the same situation, although I hope he’d try to resolve it in a more measured way.

      Like

  9. James says:

    Ha! Some things are worse than being late, although I sympathize since my better half tends to run behind schedule.

    Like

  10. Hm. Bill has quite the temper.

    Like

  11. Dale says:

    Sheesh… Not the kind of guy I would like to date, that’s for sure…

    Like

  12. Oh no! He’s not going anywhere in a hurry.

    Like

  13. csheldonblog says:

    oh dear, I hope Bill learns to control his temper next time 🙂

    Like

  14. michael1148humphris says:

    I can think of a few old time bobby’s who would have booked him for wasting their time. One of them used to hide in doorways, then step out and clip me around the ear. 🤕

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Rowena says:

    I really loved the characterization here. I knew these people and they felt very real. Rather than being vain, Babs could also be insecure or have a flaw she’s covering up…a birthmark or scar which no one else perhaps can see.
    My mother, bless her, can’t get out of the car without checking her makeup and retouching hair, makeup and used to put the lot on while at the traffic lights. She has been 20 minutes late for the near 50 years she’s been my motherand it drives my father mad. He goes and plays Moonlight Sonata on the piano while he’s waiting for her. Mind you, of course SHE was feeding us back in the day and closing windows, locking doors etc. Yet, you could say they had and still have their routine.
    xx Rowena

    Like

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you Rowena. I’m glad you read into the characters and made them real. I’ve put Babs and Bill into a story before and I have a soft spot for her. Bill needs to grow up. Back to reality, your dad sounds like a wise man – I wonder if it’s too late for me to take piano lessons?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rowena says:

        Never too late! I took up the violin four years ago when my daughter took it up. I’d learned for a year as a child and my brother went quite a long way with Suzuki method, which is helping me now because I know how the pieces SHOULD sound.
        I have my first tap class on Monday night. I am rather apprehensive as it could well be my last. Indeed, I’m even wondering how I’ll go walking in the shoes and whether I’ll “go for six” as my father would say.

        Like

      • JS Brand says:

        Hats off to you Rowena for being more adventurous and determined than me. My excuse is that I have zero aptitude for playing music. Having failed with other instruments, I tried the ukulele for a while and thought I’d found my “axe” of choice, but my progress was short-lived.

        My daughter followed Suzuki violin for a while, but I always suspected the main appeal was the sweeties that were given out as rewards for getting the bow-hold right or something similar. I don’t suppose grown-ups quality for such incentives?

        I’m impressed and slightly envious about the tap lessons. Last weekend I watched two of my grandchildren in a dance show – tap dancing looked like so much fun!

        My guess is that you’ll take to it like a duck to water with, I hope, no danger of going for a six (if that !and what I think it means). Good luck, or should that be “break a leg” (maybe not)?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Rowena says:

        I actually had a fall before I played my violin with our ensemble at a Christmas performance. Although just a rookie violinist, I was a violinist at heart because I still performed and you can see my bleeding knee in the photos. Saw my kids perform the next day at the end of year “talent” show and then went off for an xray, by which point I was in extreme pain and barely walking. Yes, I’d broken the fifth metatarsal. I was in a boot for 3 months after that.
        Good on you for watching your grandchildren dance. I love watching my daughter and the other kids dance. That’s what’s inspired me and our dance school runs these short adult classes and they’re a lot of fun with no expectations of genius.

        Like

      • JS Brand says:

        Wow, Rowena, you’re even tougher and more determined than I’d thought. You’ll be doing Eleanor Powell routines before the year’s out!

        Like

  16. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    What a temper. Loved the last line.

    Liked by 1 person

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you. It would be nice to think that whatever happened next would encourage Bill to behave better in future, but if the policeman took a firm line, I wouldn’t be surprised if Babs leapt to the defence of “her man”, in spite of his appalling behaviour. I suppose one of the plus points of flash fiction is that you don’t have the words to describe what happened next, which means you don’t have to know the answer yourself, you just have to hint and let readers speculate for themselves.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Michael B. Fishman says:

    You gave me a laugh this morning and for that I thank you! Poor Bill. Maybe we haven’t torn a car apart, but haven’t we all been in a situation sort of like that? Fun read, thanks!

    Like

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you Michael. A laugh is what I was hoping for. I’ve definitely felt Bill’s frustration, but he needs to loosen up. I get my own back by spending time making doubly sure the house is all locked up before we go out. Apparently this makes me “fussy”.

      Like

  18. Michael Wynn says:

    He has a bit of explaining to do, I fear

    Like

    • JS Brand says:

      He sure does. By the time he’s finished, the function he was so keen to get to will probably be over and Babs will have gone to the trouble of beautifying herself for nothing. Even if the police officer sends Bill on his way, he’s still going to be in serious trouble. Let’s hope he learns from the experience. Thank you for reading.

      Like

  19. Nice snap at the end here. Don’t know what the law can do to a man for damaging his own car unless he tries to claim insurance. But my ending would be that his date hits it off with the cop. 😉

    Like

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you so much. You’re right, the police would probably end up sending Bill on his way, unless the car belongs to Babs or he cuts up rough and gets arrested for breaching the peace. My thinking was, though, that a man like Bill would be seriously put out by losing even more time explaining himself to a police officer with time on his hands.
      I love your ending, by the way. I’m just jealous that I hadn’t thought of it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, he would. And the officer, sensing Bill’s “short fuse” (or anger issues) might make things difficult and irritate poor Bill even more.
        Glad you liked my ending. You didn’t have enough works to work that in yet, too, but it would be the icing on the cake. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Ha! Now that is frustration! 🙂

    Like

  21. athling2001 says:

    Whoops! And funny.

    Liked by 1 person

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