Forever Young

This story is a submission for Flash Fiction For Aspiring Writers, https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/06/05/fffaw-challenge-week-of-june-6-2017/ , prompted by the photo below, kindly provided by Pamela S. Canepa.

 

To see other people’s stories and add your own, please click on the link:

http://www.inlinkz.com/new/view.php?id=719644

Forever Young

Jack woke, in total darkness, when the pellets of icy water struck his face. He tried to sit up, but his head met something hard. Where the hell was he?

He wriggled sideways, but his left arm was trapped. He remembered staggering out of the bar, but surely he hadn’t been drunk enough to fall asleep in a dumpster again?

Jack shivered. Oh yeah … the game. Mikey had said they should go to the creek, like they did as kids. After their swim, they’d dressed at the top of the slope. “C’mon,” Mikey had said, “let’s make a dam.”

They’d felt like carefree teenagers, rolling boulders down the bank, until Jack heard the rumbling and looked round to see an army of rocks hurtling towards them.

He knew where he was now. With his free arm Jack found his phone. No signal. Shit! It would be OK, though; Mikey would have gone for help.

Mikey had been luckier than his friend. The first boulder to reach him had smashed his skull, killing him instantly.

175 words

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9 Responses to Forever Young

  1. Oh my gosh, so sad! Jack doesn’t know his friend has died. That means it doesn’t look good for Jack. GREAT story!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rowena says:

    I really enjoyed this and again, felt really part of the story and the characters. It reminds he a little of that real life story when a guy had to cut off his own arm to survive.
    It also seems that reckless activities aren’t just the province of youth.
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you so much. I thought of the same young man. I had to edit my first attempt at this story quite ruthlessly and felt it ended up a bit too staccato. Still, I could always flesh it out for my own benefit and even try a happier ending (?).

      Like

  3. Mercy. Well told story that is also very real.
    The Mine
    Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~

    Like

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