Monet For Nothing

This story is a submission for Friday Fictioneers, https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/07/26/28-july-2017/phone-booth-jhc/ .  It was prompted by the photo below, kindly provided by J Hardy Carroll.

To see other people’s stories and add your own, please click on the link:

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

Monet For Nothing

En route to interview the gallery’s new curator, the journalist couldn’t help admiring the stunning installation. 

“Whose work is this?” she asked the janitor.

“KC.”

“KC? Who –”

“You not from round here?”

“A local star then?  This piece … genius … it speaks to the conflict between historic modes for achieving interpersonal dialogue and the irresistibility of semi-rooted but evolving means of sharing information.”

“Balls.”

“Yes, the artist’s determination to avoid emasculation by technology is subtle yet undeniable.  Is it for sale?”

“Five hundred.  Cash. You know … struggling artist.”

“Super.”

Nobody used the pay phone these days anyway.

100 words

In case anyone wonders, KC used to be the acronym for Kingston Communications, a company that has a monopoly on landline provision in Kingston upon Hull (UK) and the surrounding area. It’s been rebadged as kcom.

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34 Responses to Monet For Nothing

  1. neilmacdon says:

    i wish, as a struggling author, that readers were so credulous

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear JS,

    This one left me laughing out loud. As soon as I read your title, I knew I was in for an artistic story. 😉 Love it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you. I’d have liked more words to extend the drivel but rules are rules. After writing it I stumbled on a couple of websites that help produce pretentious waffle about art. I didn’t use them, but if I had it wouldn’t have been plagiarism,it would have been reusing found objects.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Brilliant pacing and love the pretentious prick speech.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. k rawson says:

    That is so rich. Great title and clever story!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    Great story, a good laugh – modern art at it’s finest!

    Like

  6. A riotous read. And another artistic un-tegrity story. Thank you for sharing your muse.

    Like

  7. and the chicklets for free…
    Ha! I love the pseudo intellectual and then the earning of the $500. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you. I wish I’d thought of the chicklets thing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I walk around with song lyrics banging about in my head and sometimes they bang around so much that they alter. 🙂
        You’re welcome, my pleasure to read.

        Liked by 1 person

      • JS Brand says:

        I love it when kids inadvertently change lyrics (I’m not saying you’re a kid; you don’t look a day over **). Do you know Gala’s song Freed From Desire, with the line “My love has got no money, he’s got his strong beliefs” ? A friend’s 5-year-old son used to sing the second half-line as “… he’s got a trampoline”. The same boy heard The Jam’s Eton Rifles and said that eating light bulbs was stupid.
        With regard to having songs going round in your head, you have my sympathy. I’m convinced that almost anything that anyone says will match the lyrics of a song. A few times I’ve been prompted to burst into song by a phrase someone else has used, but it usually attracts a blank look or a groan, so nowadays I just sing in my head. At the moment I’m trying to pick a song title or lyric as the title for each of my stories. Sometimes, like today, I have to change a letter or add punctuation to try to get a laugh. Sad, isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Err. I would like to think it’s not sad as I do the same thing. I have a friend who even sometimes plays the straight man to see if a song lyric will come out of my mouth and usually it does. 🙂 I have to believe it’s a sign of genius talent….or not.

        Liked by 1 person

      • JS Brand says:

        OK, I accept your second opinion – it’s definitely a sign of genius.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thank you. It takes one to know one.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Varad says:

    It was a work of art after all – the con, that is. Well done, JS.

    Like

  9. beautyswot says:

    Brilliant! Just brilliant.

    Like

  10. granonine says:

    Clever. And I’m with Sascha. Just about any comment, straight or comic, elicits a song in my head. As I grow older, I’ve learned to keep most of them right there–in my head. People just d on’t appreciate my breaking into song 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • JS Brand says:

      Thank you. I expect there’s a name for the ability to make instant links between a spoken/written phrase and a song (and/or a different name for the inability not to).
      I need to clarify something – in my reply to Sascha’s comment, I wasn’t saying this ability was “sad”. The thing I think is sad is my need to use a song title or lyric for one of my stories but tweak it in the hope of eliciting a laugh. There seems to be no cure for being needy.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ha ha ha ha!! Free money. Some people are just stupid enough to find a pay phone on a wall as art… 😕 well done!!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Mike says:

    And cheap at the price,

    Liked by 1 person

    • JS Brand says:

      Definitely Michael. A replica of Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain” (a urinal turned on its back and signed with a made-up name) was sold in 1999 for $1.7m). That’s said, the original was apparently thrown out and disappeared. In 2004 it was voted by art pros as the most influential art work of the 20th century. (n.b. this last bit of info is on Wiki, so maybe someone’s taking the p again)

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Love the dialogue! Great spoof on artsy types.
    This story reminds me of the grandpa who took his grandson to the art gallery. They came on one picture and both stared awhile, After a bit the lad said, “What is it?”
    Grandpa read the programme. “It’s supposed to be Sunset Over Lake Withermere.” The boy looked at it another minute, then said, “Well, why isn’t it then?”

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Dale says:

    I love this! And that bullsh*t artist talk always kills me… You like it? Great. Buy it, don’t give me all that pretentious blah blah… 😛

    Like

  15. haha why not make a few quid? The price of any art is whatever someone is prepared to pay

    Liked by 1 person

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